The Red Ribbon Of DOOM!
by purple crayon hime
Summary: Jynell the crazy red-head tied the Red Ribbon of love to Sephiroth and Cloud. This story is stupid, and i wrote it during science class. Rated pg-13 for some drug reference.


First, if you dun know about the red ribbon of love, and Japanese culture, when you tie a red ribbon to yourself and your lover, you are tied together forever. Don't ask what possessed me to write this all up, but this is just what I thought up in my science class...it's stupid and almost plotless, and make sure you review my insanity! Ok, so here we go.  
  
Jynell (That's me) had an evil plan, a horrible evil plan, that is so good, that it is bad. She held the ball of red ribbon in one hand, and stared out the window of her classroom. Sephiroth and Cloud were outside getting high, because this is an alternative school, and half the kids here are stoners, anyway without the teacher's noticing, she slunk out of the room and snuck past the principal and out the school.  
"Hey, Sephy." Cloud said. "Isn't this stuff bad for you? I mean, we could get in trouble."  
"Shut up wimp." Sephiroth snapped. "Remember, you are my slave for the week since I stuck up for you when you got arrested for drunk driving."  
"I wasn't drunk." Cloud wimpered. "IT was sugar-high from potion."  
"I SAID SHUT UP!" Sephiroth said, picking up a pine cone and throwing it at cloud, but he was so high, he missed Cloud and hit Jynell in the head.  
"Ha ha, sorry, ha ha." Sephiroth laughed.  
Jynell rubbed her sore head.  
"Watch where you are throwing thongs, you stupid jerk." She growled.  
Jynell took out a donkey and slapped Sephiroth with out. She had a rage in her eyes.  
"You two are out here doing BAD things again aren't you?"  
Cloud shuddered.  
"It wasn't my idea, it was, OW!"  
Sephiroth took Jynell's donkey and stuffed it down Cloud's throat. "I though I told you to shut up!" He growled.  
Jynell then thought now was a good time to carry out her plan. As the retards argued, she took the magical red ribbon and tied on end to Sephy's hand, and the other end around Cloud's neck, and then she ran away giggling like a moron and a half.  
"Whuh...what the hell?" Sephiroth noticed he ribbon tied to himself and Cloud.  
Cloud spit out the donkey and looked at the ribbon, permanently tied around his neck. He then looked up at Sephiroth and did a silly grin.  
"Hey Sephy, look, we're married!"  
Sephiroth kicked cloud in the head.  
"You Idiot, that crazy red-haired girl did this to us! Quick, give me some scissors! I'll cut us free, and then I'll kill her!"  
Cloud shook is head, and some scissors fell out of his hair. Sephy grabbed them, but the ribbon was so magical and thick, it wouldn't come off. Sephiroth began to panic.  
"Crap, it's magic string made from red material, DAMMIT!" He freaked out.  
Cloud played with the string a bit.  
"I think it's pretty." He said clulessly.  
"who cares what you think, come on!"  
And with that, Sephiroth dragged Cloud on the ground and they stormed into the school, where they were met by the Principal, Greg.  
"What are you boys doing outside of classes?" Greg asked.  
Sephiroth pointed to the string.  
"I'm looking for that red-haired girl who did THIS to US!"  
Greg looked closely at the string, and then laughed.  
"Now boys, at this school, you are allowed to be open with yourself, don't be afraid to come out of the closet around here."  
"What the hell are you talking about?!" Sephiroth growled.  
Greg shook his head.  
"anyway, a saw Jynell with some string about a few minutes ago. It's so cute, she's like to school's little cherub of love."  
"which way did she go?" Sephiroth asked.  
"Like hell I know. I'm the principal, all I do is just make sure no one dies around here, good-day."  
And he took out a smoke bomb and disappeared.  
Cloud wined some more.  
"Sephy, you're hurting me."  
"Shut up Strife! I need to find that girl so she can rid me from this burden!"  
"Us." Cloud tried to correct his friend. "She'll rid "us."  
"I said shut up!" Sephiroth snapped. "Now, if I were a crazy demonic red-haired chick, where would a be?" He took a while to think, and then he had a idea. He turned to Cloud.  
"Strife, she's gonna post this all on the web, I damn know she is, strife? STRIFE?!"  
Sephiroth shook the string. Cloud had suffocated and died in the other end. Sephiroth shrugged.  
"Oh well, I must stop her!"  
He ran into the computer room, and sure enough, there was Jynell, writing on the computer, not paying attention to the teacher. Sephiroth leaped at Jynell, but he was still high and he accidently fell over in the middle of the lead. He stood back up.  
"Stop this foolishness at once!" He demanded.  
Jynell looked up at him with innocent eyes.  
"Stop what?" She asked. "and you smell like something died!"  
"SOMETHING DID DIE!" Sephiroth yelled, pointed to the dead Cloud he dragged to the room.  
Jynell laughed.  
"You're so silly."  
Sephiroth them got on his knees and begged.  
"Ok, what do you want from us, name it, I'll do anything! ANYTHING!"  
Jynell though for a while, Sephiroth looked rather pathetic, while Cloud looked rather, um, dead. Jynel then smiled.  
"Well, there is one thing." She said.  
"What is it?" Sephiroth asked.  
Jynell took out a picture of Tifa from her bag.  
"I want you to kill this girl, I hate her."  
"But, she's my friend!" C;oud whined.  
"You're supposed to be dead, shut up!" Sephiroth snapped.  
Cloud shut up and died again.  
"Ok, I'll kill this girl, now cut me loose."  
And jynell cut sephiroth loose from cloud and he killed tifa. THE END!  
  
I told you this was stupid! 


End file.
